過了幾天總算多少釋懷了一些,其實這樣的打擊不遜於17歲那次,甚至有過之而無不及,或許是因為隨年齡增長而有了更深刻的體悟,又或許只是因為習慣性失敗,儘管內心深處的聲音是如此清晰,但畢竟這些日子所承受的種種失敗已經多不勝數,還能承受多少其實自己也沒底。而過去對自己的承諾其實仍舊如此深刻,我說過要用自己的方式,讓身邊的人感受自己對生命的認真和熱誠。或許眼下這樣的打擊正是考驗自己能否接受沉重打擊以後,繼續前進。
我非常清楚知道想要實現的目標,距離此刻的自己仍然有一段距離。我確實不知道會不會有實現的一刻,但我知道我必須要為此奮戰,甚至為此瘋狂,因為我知道這是我之所以為我的原因。
而其實對於全力以赴以後的結局完全一無所知其實才是最讓人感到害怕的。
But , this is about the relationship between me and myself , so I decided to keep moving , keep going to get what I want and keep being who I want to be. I really do not need people to endorse me , I just need the respect from myself. I just want to be who I want to be , even the ending is absolutely empty. I just want to be brave rather than damn coward.
So , I decided to take all of this and keep moving to where I decided to arrive.
Fight , Forever.
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